During this time of year many of us find that we become more stressed and begin feeling a bit under the weather. We often feel like our battery power is declining rapidly as we hustle about doing the things of the season we have become so accustomed to do. Many of these activities falter gravely in the meaning of what Christmas should be, which also validates the emptiness we often feel deep inside.
For months we begin chasing the “deals” that each holiday seems to bring in order to gift to others in an expected fashion rather than gifting from the heart as we are being called. We lose the feel good moment we can receive when we simply ride out the expectations that have been placed upon us.
How did we get here? Where did it all begin? And how do we find our hearts again and the desire to live out the true meaning of Christmas?
I remember as a child, growing up in a very poor family, how it felt each year upon returning to school. All the children, and adults alike, began excitedly sharing their joys of gifts they were blessed to receive and often asking those around them what they were given. As a poor child who didn’t see this holiday as joyous but rather one which seemed to bring more angst to everyone around me, I never truly knew how to share the truth. I always skirted around the answer because the answer was nothing that could compare to those answers flowing freely from everyone else around me.
These same behaviors from others, asking the same old comparison questions, continued into adulthood. Again, for years I strived to skirt around answering because, to me, it felt as if these comparisons were like being told over and over again that perhaps I was not worthy, perhaps I was not loved enough.
For years I skirted, and I played the game. The game of holiday madness. And I despised it. Don’t get me wrong, when I did things from my heart it felt magical but when I was directed on HOW and WHAT and WHEN to give something to another it felt as if I were simply being robotic without the Love of Christ that so many churches across the world preached about.
I struggled and found the holidays more depressing and stressing than beautiful and loving. Not to mention the marketing that pervades the season, which is so very manipulative. I finally decided I had enough. I stopped the madness, at least within myself and the way our home celebrated Christ’s birth.
We began new traditions as well as continued the ones we felt were glorifying and edifying. Traditions that weren’t focused on what was bought for us or by us, but traditions that held deeper meaning and connection. We removed ourselves from everything that distracted us or affected us negatively. This included not participating in some unhealthy gatherings that always seemed to be hurtful and/or harmful… and painfully, this sometimes can mean family dinners, etc.
The result? This brought so much PEACE into our lives. These decisions made my heart spark again and eventually the flames began burning brighter.
I began doing secret gifting amongst the people that I felt God leading me to spread a little love and friendship towards. Often, randomly, a name would come to me and I would leave small acts of kindness behind in anonymity. I loved it this way. These were simple things but the most important part to me was them knowing another was truly praying for them for that week. Yes, I did this weekly for a very long time, until I was found out. It was glorious! When I would see the faces of folks who would find their package with their name upon it sitting near the door of the church we attended at the time, I always slipped away quietly and thanked God for the ability to do such random acts without acknowledgment. It felt more true to the heart for me this way. Bringing a smile to someone’s face knowing they were going through a rough patch in life, showing them that they are noticed and they are loved.
I opened our home to those without family and this became our holiday routine. A table full of beautiful food created with love and prayer. A counter full of delicious desserts and drinks. And community fellowship that withstood the test of time that became our “chosen family.” Through these years we connected in real life on a deeper level, rejoicing in one another’s successes, and crying and praying together over one another’s hardships and despair.
We sought out those without homes to call their own and brought them hot meals, gifts, and friendship, and we spent time getting to know and understand these beautiful souls and how we can attend to their needs ongoing. To me these moments were priceless and meant everything. These spirits ignited the flame within me to want to do more, for them, for my chosen family, my friends, and my community.
THIS is what gift giving should feel like, at least in my own personal view. This is my desire for all holidays. But not just on holidays… for all days of LIFE are days to be celebrated! This should be a part of the way we all live daily.
As we enter this Christmas week I pray you remember the true meaning and find deeper connection with those you are surrounded by.
You are loved.
You are appreciated.
You are worthy.
We are ALL worth far more than rubies. May we live our lives accordingly and find the blessings of Christ to be restorative and fulfilling in our hearts and lives once more.
Be the Hands and Feet in Love.
BIG LOVE,
Char~